Should I be in therapy? Recovering from a traumatic past relationship
- Craig Newman
- Mar 17
- 2 min read
After leaving an abusive/traumatic relationship or breakup, many survivors struggle with fear, anxiety, guilt, and distressing memories. Some of this is a normal part of healing—it takes time to process what happened and to rebuild. But for some, trauma symptoms don’t ease over time, or they start to interfere with daily life in a way that makes moving forward feel impossible.
NB This is education and not treatment/professional assessment - if in any doubt seek advice from your GP or a mental health professional.
So how do you know when therapy might be the right step?
Signs That Therapy Might Be Necessary
1. You can’t seem to move forward, no matter how hard you try
Do you feel stuck in the same painful emotions, unable to process what happened?
Do you keep replaying the past, struggling to make sense of it?
Do you feel like your trauma is holding you back from living the life you want?
If your trauma isn’t resolving with time, self-care, or personal efforts, therapy can provide structured guidance to help you move forward.
2. Your trauma is affecting your ability to function
Are you struggling to focus at work or take care of daily tasks?
Do you find it hard to maintain relationships or feel disconnected from others?
Do you avoid important responsibilities because of fear, anxiety, or exhaustion?
When trauma starts interfering with everyday life, professional support can help you regain stability and control.
3. You feel overwhelmed by distress or panic, and it’s not improving
Do you experience sudden, intense fear or panic attacks?
Do you feel constantly on edge, exhausted, or unable to relax?
Do you feel emotionally numb or disconnected from yourself?
These ongoing symptoms of trauma can keep your nervous system in survival mode, making recovery difficult without structured support.
4. You have lost hope or are struggling with thoughts of self-harm
Do you feel like things will never get better?
Do you have thoughts about hurting yourself, even in small ways?
Do you feel like you don’t care what happens to you anymore?
This is the clearest sign that you need professional help (click here for immediate resources). Trauma can make it hard to see a future where you feel safe and happy again, but with support, things can get better.
What If I’m Not Sure?
If you’re unsure whether you need therapy, ask yourself:
💬 Is my trauma getting better over time, or is it staying the same—or even getting worse?
💬 Can I handle daily life, or does my trauma regularly interfere with work, relationships, or my ability to care for myself?
💬 Do I feel stuck, hopeless, or overwhelmed by my emotions more often than not?
If any of these feel true for you, therapy could help.
There is no shame in needing support. Trauma recovery is not something you have to do alone. If your symptoms are making life harder, reaching out to a therapist can be the first step toward feeling in control again.