How to Stay Focused When You’re Overwhelmed and at Work

A very practical article helping people to continue to work well, despite stress / distress / intereference from their ex!

This plan provides a structured approach to maintaining focus and productivity during emotionally challenging periods. It can be used as a daily or weekly reset to manage stress and regain mental clarity.

Step 1: Assess Your Current Focus Level

Before starting work, take a brief 10-second check-in:

Am I fully present, or just going through the motions?
Am I stuck in thoughts about my ex or feeling emotionally detached?
What is my current stress level—low, medium, or high?

If stress is medium or high, move to Step 2 before proceeding with work.

Step 2: Quick Pre-Work Reset (5-Minute Focus Anchor)

If you are feeling scattered or emotionally distracted, use these grounding techniques:

Body Check Reset – Sit upright, plant both feet firmly, unclench your jaw, and take three slow, deep breaths.
Touchstone Focus – Hold a small object such as a pen, ring, or grounding stone, and press it between your fingers for 30 seconds while breathing deeply.
Music Shift – Play neutral or empowering music to reset your brain’s emotional state.
Two-Minute Task Trick – Begin with a small, manageable work-related action such as opening a document, writing a single sentence, or organising your desk.

Once your mind feels slightly clearer, proceed to Step 3.

Step 3: Prioritise Tasks for a Stressed Brain

Cognitive overload makes focusing difficult. To structure your workload, use the Quick Sort Method:

Write down three to five tasks that need to be completed today.
Categorise them as follows:
- Essential & Easy – Quick wins that boost confidence.
- Important but Draining – Tasks requiring more effort, best handled in small steps.
- Not Urgent / Can Wait – Tasks that do not require immediate attention and can be scheduled later.

Begin with an essential & easy task to establish work momentum.

Step 4: Manage Mental Distractions (Rumination Breaks & Thought Resets)

If intrusive thoughts about your ex disrupt focus, use one of the following strategies:

Mind Park It – Write down the thought and commit to revisiting it after work.
Interrupt the Loop – Stand up, stretch, or change your physical posture when overthinking starts.
Visual Anchor – Place a reminder, such as a sticky note or screensaver, with an affirmation like:

“I deserve a clear mind. Right now, my job is to focus on me.”

If mental fog persists, return to Step 2 for a reset.

Step 5: Create a Work Safe Zone

To minimise emotional triggers at work, set up protective mental and physical boundaries:

Physical Space – Maintain a low-stimulus workspace with calm lighting, noise reduction, and a familiar object for comfort.
Digital Boundaries – Activate “Do Not Disturb” mode to limit personal message notifications during work hours.
Mental Boundaries – When emotions rise, remind yourself:

“Right now, I am at work. I will process emotions later.”

If a workplace trigger occurs, return to Step 2 and reset before continuing.

Step 6: End-of-Day Reset (Prevent Emotional Carryover Home)

Before leaving work or ending your workday remotely, conduct a brief closure check:

Did I allow stress to control my day, or did I manage to stay present?
What is one thing I accomplished well today?
What is one small action I can take tomorrow to feel more in control?

The goal is consistent improvement, not perfection. Progress is measured by how often you can bring yourself back to focus, not how many times distractions occur.

Why This Plan Works & Can Be Repeated

Breaks focus recovery into small, manageable steps.
Provides quick resets without requiring significant effort.
Can be used daily or weekly, depending on individual needs.
Relevant to both domestic abuse survivors and non-abusive breakups.
Helps track measurable progress, leading to improved focus and emotional stability over time.

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