One of the things I learned early on with GOGL, is that many of us don't know what self-compassion feels like when we are doing it well.
Asking a person to develop a feeling they don't recognise - makes it hard.
Here is some idea of what we are trying to develop and also what we are trying to notice, so we can be aware that we are being self-compassionate.
Self-compassion feels like...
Self-compassion can feel like a warm and comforting presence, like a caring and supportive friend who is always there for you.
It can involve feeling a sense of acceptance and understanding towards ourself, even in difficult or challenging moments.
Self-compassion can also involve feeling a sense of connection with others, and recognising that we are not to blame, we are not alone and that our journey has been taken by others and many have found freedom and love... but not without hard work and pain.
This can help to reduce feelings of isolation and loneliness, and can foster a sense of belonging and connection with others.
Finally, self-compassion can involve feeling a sense of kindness and caring towards ourself, and a willingness to offer ourself the same care and understanding that one would offer to a dear friend.
Self-compassion is a response to feelings we don't want, but will have.
Self-compassion is not self-criticism, guilt, shame, anger, fear, obligation and blame. But those feelings can arrive. Self-compassion is the response to these feelings.. when we have them, we respond with self-compassion.
It takes time, but it is possible.